Monday, February 23, 2009

Caption this: "I'm not a terrorist" edition.

Over the years, I have tried all sorts of facial hair. Soul patch, Poets beard, chops, mutton chops, lamb chops, chin strap etc. In fact, the only thing I've never tried is a full beard, or any sort of hair on my upper lip. I've always been morally against having any sort of mustache. It seemed so dirty.

So in my forced furlough from work, I decided to let my face go completely ape-man. It was a disgusting sight, and has since been shaved. For your enjoyment, I bring you to my first (and probably last) caption contest. It is the full beard in all its glory.
Flame away. The meaner the better. I overcame my physical short-comings year ago.

I'll get things started with a few suggestions of my own. Whomever I deem the winner of the contest can have their choice of 500 EC credits, tips on how to dominate at Call of Duty 4, or just good old fashioned blog-comment praise.

Hey, is that the ugly twin of J.D. from Scrubs?

(the wookie sound)

Why did you crop your fat gut out of the picture?

Is that a grown-out flat-top?

As you're now on a government watch list, every flight will be a "red-eye" from now on.

At least it hides your double chin. (or is it triple?)

You've got a face made for radio.

What the Hell is with your creepy right eye?


Anonymous said...

Okay, first off that beard is not bad looking at all.

I was expecting something REALLY spooky. You know like something out of one of those Deliverance characters.

Anyhoo, to be honest I can't think of funny caption but I would like to vote on your:

(the wookie sound)

That is hilarious with a "real" hideous beard which yours is no-oot!


Major Undeclared said...

Wow. just wow.
You look like that picture of the young lady and you turn it upside down to reveal the old lady. you have just as much hair on your chin. terrorist both ways.
Oh and my caption would be
"Thank you, come again..."

Stephanie B said...

1. More proof for the inverse square law on intelligence and facial hair.

(I'm really having to struggle, here. I don't think it looks bad at all)

Cameron said...

No, no, I like the beard. It's hiding half of that hideous mug.

Cameron said...

Are you Ok, Mr Brokerick?

Cameron said...

Did you grow a beard, or did your nose hair just expand?

Da Old Man said...

You are now a Bearded American. Welcome to the club.
Can't come up with a caption, because beards are the ultimate sign of intelligence and wit.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

"My God Sarah, what is that you're wearing?"

(the wookie sound and then fade in the melody from Springtime for Hitler)

Doug at Taunt Vortex said...

Sorry, I got nothin'.

But when I first saw the photo, I thought "My god, where did he get that photo of Dr. Dorian?"

Da Old Man said...

That beard does kill the chance of ever getting on a flight without a full "you were selected at random" search.

Alex L said...

'Yes dear I ate your goldfish'

The Acorn King said...

Holy crap, that really does look like Zack Braff a little. At least you can grow a beard, I have to envy your beard. Ok, caption time:

"Which isle did you say I could find the fava beans?"

"Production stills from the set of 'Zack & Miri Make an actual Porno.'"

"What do you mean they canceled Scrubs?"

"Ok boys, good practice, now go hit the showers and practice working a good lather up."

"Dirka-dirka, cave, dirka, Osama, dirka-dirka-dirka, Scrubs at 4, dirka-dirka-dirka."

Matt said...

By far the contest was won by Major Undeclared with his comment about the old lady/young lady picture.


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