I'm married with a gaggle of kids, don't drink, and have trouble staying up until 11pm. You can imagine how exciting my New Years Eve parties are...
In fact, the most excited I get about the new year, is either awaiting my tax return in late Feb, or continually putting 2008 on any form I fill out.
As a change for this year, I thought I'd celebrate 2009. I really wanted to get down to the nitty gritty about what 2009 was about.
Here's what I found...brace yourselves.
2009 is the International Year of Astronomy. (400th anniversary of Galileo looking into a telescope.)
2009 is the International Year of natural Fibres. (I originally thought this was a UK-spelled version of a celebration of foods like oat bran, lentils, and other foods that give you the "million-wipers" on the toilet. The UN actually just wants to raise awareness for natural fibres...like silk...completely awesome...if you're into that kind of thing.)
2009 is the International Year of Reconciliation. (No word on whether the Catholic church is sponsoring the celebration.)
We will inaugurate our 1st black President.
We will put a man in the senate who used to don a wig, and look into the mirror for his "Daily affirmation."
The longest Solar eclipse in the 21st century will take place in July. Oprah will attempt the feat the next month by using a jet pack and hope that her massive ass can completely block out the sun. Please wear special glasses.
The retail sale of incandescent light bulbs will be banned in Australia. Do they use "British-speak" down there?? If so, would they be termed light bulbes?
Other events that I predict to happen are:
Yankees move to a new stadium...only to not make the playoffs.
Cowboys move to a new stadium...only to not make the playoffs.
Ryan Secrist will come out of the closet.
Saturday Night Live will be terrible. (too late...already there)
There is a 30% chance that I get laid off from my job.
There is a 30% chance that I become a male prostitute.
As you can see, 2009 looks to be pretty lame. In order to make 2009 feel a little better about itself, I wanted to show it that it will be no worse than any other person/year. As proof, I give the "6 degrees of separation of 2009 from Kevin Bacon." 2009...you're good enough, smart enough, and doggone it..people like you.
4---->>>>Alan Arkin was in "Rendition" with
5---->>>>Reese Witherspoon was in "Freeway" with
6---->>>>Keifer was in "A few good men" with....
That was fun...and insightful. Let's try it again with another random object.
How about Ricky (Rickey) Henderson.
1---->>>>Played in 1989 with
4---->>>>Pinchot's relatively short film career included Courage under Fire with
5---->>>>Before Ryan bared all in a recent film, she starred in a stinker called "Joe versus the Volcano" with
6---->>>>Tom Hanks starred in Apollo 13 along with
If anyone can involve 2009, Jenna Jameson, and Yul Brynner in a chain to Kevin Bacon, I would be impressed.
Here's to you 2009...now where's my tax return??!!