I'm taking a mulligan on a few of the things I had to chose when I started up this blog. Right off the bat, they want you to name your blog, choose your web address, and then pick a profile name. After a little while, you don't want to change any of this, as you have built up links, and developed a brand name. (albeit, my brand name is only known by 10's)
I pondered on the name of my blog, and the web address, and was---and still am happy with my choice. The thinly veiled Phil Hendrie reference will probably only be caught by a few.
But I'm not happy with my profile name. The Hypocritical One is stupid. It's as chic as John Mccain's hair.
I originally started this blog for ranting purposes. There were so many things that I felt the world needed to fix, and I was going to be a "humorous catalyst for change." I chose the Hypocritical one, as I would be telling others to "do as I say, and not as I do." It seemed funny at the time. I quickly realized that there were 23 thousand other blog just like it on the web...so when push came to shove, I shelved that idea.
I also quickly learned that I just liked to write plain humor, and didn't have the cajones to call out my fellow man.
In addition, I have another blog venture that is coming out shortly, and having the name hypocritical one just wouldn't fit the profile.
So....I have decided to use my real name on this blog.
I hemmed and hawed over this decision for the last month. Mainly, I did not want to be recognized by any co-workers, or people whom I may have offended in a lame attempt to produce humor at their expense.
Luckily, I haven't written much in here that would offend others, and would not be ashamed for them to see most of what I have written. (there are a couple people who may be upset....and those posts will be edited shortly)
Most of my visitors are probably family anyway...so I don't have to hide anything from them.
No need to hide from my wife in the bathroom in order to blog in my spare time.
Secondly, I didn't want to put a picture of myself up here, as there is a "negative movie-star" connotation with my face. Confused?? Let me explain....
Ever since I've been a little kid, people have come up to me and said:
"You look like _____________." And then they would name some actor. Now, most people would consider this a good thing.
Because the majority of the time, the actor who I'm being compared to, would not grace the cover of GQ magazine in the near future.
For your viewing pleasure, and to further humiliate myself on this blog in order to garner laughs, I give you the Matt movie-star lookalike list.
I am most often compared to Zach Braff. People say I have the same mannerisms, and humor that he has in Scrubs....so maybe I should be compared to Dr. Dorian.
The only other semi-attractive celebrity that I have been compared to, is a man who once threw up on people, and ate their guts.
We now move on to the much larger list of celebrities...and these are not positive.
In fact, the very first celebrity that I was compared to was Paul from the Wonder Years. I will never forgive Holly G. for branding me in the 8th grade. You ever see an 8th grade boy cry?? Oh I did...on my pillow nightly for looking like him.
Who is the weirdest celeb I've been compared to?? Why...none other than a cartoon character. I guess I'm lucky it wasn't Porky Pig.
You'd think these were my enemies destroying my self-esteem, but in fact, it was most often my friends. In fact, my best friend in the world compared me to that goofy looking guy Grant Heslov from "Dante's Peak." It almost broke up our friendship.
Just when you think it can't get much worse, along comes another douche-a-riffic person to push my fragile self-image further down the chute in my own personal hell. This one particularly stung, as it was from one of my favorite shows. Mind you.....I was compared to Corporal Klinger based on LOOKS alone.
And finally...you'd think as I got older, that I wouldn't have to deal with this type of ridicule. You'd think that as people got more mature, that they'd stop the mental torture. But----just last year, a portly co-worker laid down the gauntlet, and brought me to a completely new low. You might as well bend me over in a prison cell than compare me to the next celeb.
I seem to notice a pattern here.....Dark hair....potentially middle eastern or Jewish....big nose.....BOOM---A match!!!
Feel free to point out any others that I may have missed. I'm sure that I'll get hit with the comparison someday, so it might as well get done here. My fragile psyche is much less fragile than it once was.
In addition, this ridicule has turned me into one mean bastard when I choose to. Most that mock me in person will leave with their tail behind their legs....but alas, I am not an internet tough guy, so mock away.
I gotta go....News radio is about to start.