Wednesday, October 1, 2008

THO turns 100....posts

In honor of my 100th post, I'm considering breaking my diet, and getting a big plate of Mandarin Chicken and pork fried rice. It sounds so beautifully delicious. Alas...I'll probably end up at some crappy sandwich place getting turkey with no cheese or dressing...and wash it down with water. I can honestly say that I am less happy when eating healthy. There is a reason Santa Claus is jolly...he's fat.

Here is a short list of little-known facts about the author of this blog. While not all are funny, perhaps you may find some interesting and insightful.

-I have never been in an actual fight. When I was 11, a scuffle broke out between my older cousin and another guy at the mall. His cohort gave me a shove in the gut, and then we both turned back towards the fight. It was right outside the JC Penney, and an employee came and broke it up. I claimed for years that I "won" the fight.

-11 years ago, I was barefoot water-skiing. A particularly nasty crash at 42 mph had me tumbling through the water, when I heard a pop in my knee. I couldn't put weight on the knee for 3 weeks. Being young and stupid, I thought it would heal on its own. It did....9 months later. I couldn't play any sports, or exercise without pain. I still feel a little wince every now and again when I play basketball.

-I am a fairly decent piano player. With practice, I can play pieces by most composers...except Chopin.

-I have never been to the following states:
Hawaii, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, Tennessee, North Carolina, Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont.
Of all the cities I have visited or lived, Seattle was the prettiest and Philadelphia was the trashiest.

-The first girl I ever kissed was my cousin. In fact, she is not the only cousin I've kissed. Interestingly enough, they both kissed me. Am I bragging? I'm a freak!

-The first concert I ever attended was The Cure in 1989. It was terrible.

The best concert ever attended was Ben Folds Five in 1998 in a small club. (front row of about 200 people)
The worst concert ever attended was Crosby Stills and Nash in an outdoor venue in 1997. Crosby was sick, so Stills and Nash tried to keep the middle aged fans happy. What truly was making everyone happy was the marijuana smoke contact high.
The most I've paid for a concert was U2--Popmart tour--57 bucks. I could have listened to it on my radio with my brother's head in front of me for free and got the same effect.

-I have never received a ticket. In fact, I have only been pulled over 2 times in my life. Once for expired registration, and the other for driving the wrong way on a one-way. (don't ask)

-I am truly talented at Ping-Pong. As mediocre as I am in most things in my life, I excel at table tennis. Am I bragging again? I'm a total freak!!

-I have a voracious appetite for reading. I read books very quickly as I don't read individual sentences. I look at paragraphs as a whole, and "soak it all in" before moving to the next one. Dialogue makes that strategy kind of tough.
The problem with this, is that I don't remember much detail in many books I read. I've re-read 50-100 pages of books that I've already read until I figure out I know the ending to the story.

-Top 5 albums of all-time:

1-Radiohead - OK Computer
2-Foo Fighters - The Colour and the Shape
3-Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream
4-Ben Folds Five - Whatever and ever Amen
5-Midnight Oil - Earth and Sun and Moon

Other bands receiving consideration (Coldplay, Muse, Johnny Cash, U2, Metallica, Nine Inch Nails, Pearl Jam, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Sum41)

-Movies that I absolutely hate:
The Cell
What dreams may come
Lost in Translation

-I would not study electrical engineering again if I had a time machine, and was transported back to college.

-I voted for George Bush in 2000. I am comfortable with that decision.
I voted for George Bush in 2004. It was a terrible decision.

-At 17 years old, when I was just starting my senior year in High School, I weighed exactly 123 pounds. I gained 23 pounds that year. In the 10 years since I have been married, I have fluctuated between 158-177 pounds. Oddly enough, all the weight gain appears to be in my gut.

-I am an exception to the long-held belief that you can only marry + or - 2 levels of "hotness" from your level. I would consider myself a strong 5. My wife is a solid 9. This was told to me by a long-time friend. I wasn't sure if he was ripping on me, or hitting on my wife....either way, it probably wasn't good.

-If I was as tall as my brother (6'3"), I would be on the pro beach volleyball circuit.

-I hate Wal-mart with a passion. Oddly enough, I love Fred Meyer. I could peruse the aisles for hours. I cannot explain this. This seals the deal that I am a freak.

-And lastly.....I cheat at golf every time I play. Even when I go by myself.

Thanks for dropping in from time to time....I appreciate all 6 people who read my post.


Gary ("Old Dude") said...

we have very little in common, I suspect its the age gap---you think people over 30 are untrustworthy, I think people under 40 are ignorant and naive. Stll I find I like your spunky attitude and irreverence about life in general---best of all any body that can laugh at themselves can't be all bad. Okay so now that I have complimented ya---talk to me about how you got this 3 column blog plateform??---and OOH yeah nice 100th (lol)

Gary (old dude)

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Hey, we have something in common. I'm a 9 and my spouse is a 5. Well used to be. Now he's a 2.

But dude, Lost in Translation? One of my all-time favorites!!

Doug at Taunt Vortex said...

I've lived in Alabama and North Carolina. And I've been to South Carolina, Mississippi, Georgia, Florida, and Tennessee.

You're not missing anything at all, with the exception of Key West Florida.

None of my top 5 albums made your list, but Auchtung Baby by U2 is one of my "desert island" albums.

Looking forward to the next 100.

Chat Blanc said...

the think I find most freaky about you is that you've actually been to my home state--Iowa. you poor thing. Also, I love that you cheat at golf, that definitely makes you a normal guy! :)

Silly Swedish Skier Says So said...

I've been to countless metal shows and yet I got in a fist fight at (of all places) an Erykah Badhu show. Weird. I'm usually a pacifist but it was about a thousand degrees in there and someone dumped a beer on my head as she made a mean face at me. Bonus was I had more room than anyone else

I'm with you on the books. I tend to read a book a week typically and don't remember shit. Sadly if I reread a book, I still read it the same way. But I rarely reread any book.

Major Undeclared said...

Congratulations on the centennial post.
I'm proud that at least 37 of your posts have been mildly funny. If my math is correct, you have 37% comedy success.
And do you really still have a Fred Meyer near you? Is it 1989 again?

Alex L said...

Congrats on the 100, I made mine a while ago. Midnight oil in the top 5... are you sure?

Captain Mary said...

By all the replies you got to this post, you are wrong about how many readers you have. I am proud to be one of them. Congradulations and keep them coming.

Rickey Henderson said...

Mazel Tov on your 100th post from Rickey!

Don said...

Yeah, congrats! I just made 100 myself. Actual posts too. Didn't have to take one single mulligan!

Athena said...

I really disliked Lost In Translation, too! Most people would give me the death glare for that one. And when I read I almost do the exact same thing - I just stop myself instead. Why? I dunno! Maybe I'll try it your way this time.

Congrats on your 100th post! Enjoy your orange chicken!

The Hypocritical One said...

gary--Not distrust...If at 70, I am as open as you towards others, then I will be a happy man.
Send me an e-mail, and I can shoot you the info on the 3-column deal. I wonder if it slows my site down though.

fantasy life--Watching Lost in translation was like getting blue balls at 17 years old. You wait...and wait...and wait for something to happen, but nothing does, and you just end up leaving with a dull pain in your crotch.

Doug--I've never visited the "deep south." We almost went to Florida for our anniversary this year, but it was so ex$pen$ive.

chat--I should clarify--I've "driven through" Iowa...not much there.

swede--oddly enough I can see someone fighting at a Badhu concert. She's a scary woman, and might cause undue fear in the audience.

major--37% is far higher than I expected. Do you not know where I live?? Fred Meyer is like the "Dillards of grocery stores" in my town.

alex--While musically, Midnight Oil might not stand up against other greats---you MUST have some sort of connection or memory to place an album in your top 5. This album does this for me...and is an interesting story for another blog post. are one of the founding visitors to this site. I sincerely thank you.

Rickey--Thanks....I'm 1/4 Jewish ('s a religion...not a nationality).

Don--the next 100 will be much tougher I believe.

Athena--thank you for backing me up on that was the most boring 90 minutes of my life. (Meet Joe Black was a close second)

Jenn Thorson said...

Congrats on being a blog post centenarian! :) Woo-hoo! turkey sandwiches without cheese or dressing for everyone!!

Da Old Man said...

Congrats on the 100th. And on the more than +2 in the spousal catagory. And whether your buddy was complimenting or hitting on your wife, either one--way to go.

Petra said...

Hey, one of my favorite shows was Ben Folds Five in 1998 in a small club...where did you see them? Did Ben Folds get up on top of the piano and moon the audience, cause he did at the show I was WAS AWESOME!!!

(It was in Providence, RI, by the way)

alljackpots said...

heat at golf every time I play. Even when I go by myself.

muskrat said...

i thought i'd already commented on this one...guess not. first, congrats! second, i waterski, too! but not as well as you do/did. third, i saw the cure several times and liked it. you're just against big hair. fourth, i agree with most of the CD choices. fifth, wanna fight?

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