Friday, September 26, 2008

Raiders of the black mold

All of the large refrigerators in our office complex have notices that "all food left in fridge will be thrown away on Friday."
This is true for all, except a little junior fridge that sits directly opposite my cubicle. This fridge is like King Tut's tomb. Nothing has been removed for ages.
It's held the exact same items for at least 9 months. (since I started this job)
From time to time I place my lunch in the fridge, and wonder if I could get sick if some of the older food items decided to perform a hostile takeover on my food.

Yesterday, I decided to look at the expiration date of some of the items in the fridge. What I found was sickening.
Multiple dairy items had expiration dates from early 2007. It's no wonder that I get sleepy and a little achy in the afternoons. Who knows what types of toxic fungi are living in the fridge?

To ensure that I did not throw out anyone's leftovers...I sent out a group e-mail to everyone in our little area.

Hi all,

I'm going to throw away all old food in the little fridge located near the meeting room this Friday. If any of the following items are yours, I'd come claim them before they get tossed:

Half-eaten strawberry/banana yogurt that expired in April 07.
Open pint of milk that was good until May 07. (vitamin is now a solid)
Piece of old pizza wrapped in a wal-mart bag. It either has olives or mold on it...I can't tell. I think it bit me.
A turkey lean cuisine panini microwave dinner. (expiration date June 08. I think this was supposed to be frozen.)
Half a jug of half-and-half.
Mini box of toothpicks. (mint flavored)
Two 2 liters of Coke. These are opened and half gone, but the lids are on very tight, so there may be some carbonation left from last years Christmas party.
3 packets of Arby's sauce.
1 packet of New Hong Kong soy sauce.
Unopened peach yogurt. (Expired Nov 2007...take a chance??)
Container of 1000 Island dressing from McDonald's. (The hamburgler is wearing bell-bottoms on the this dressing may be very old)
Tupperware container containing meatballs, and what appears to be rice. (I hope it's rice...I mean the rice isn't moving or anything)

The Hypocritical One

And wouldn't you know it....the panini has been claimed.
If any of you are interested in these items, it's local pickup only. The post office won't allow hazardous items to be shipped.

I wonder if I can get disability if I inhale toxic black mold???

I just wanted to mention something about OSU's big win over USC last night. ESPN ran the headline:

Beavers trap Trojans!!

or perhaps this one would have been better:

Beavers mangle Trojans by dirtying Sanchez!!

If you have other good ones...we try to keep it semi-clean for the kiddies here.


Don said...

Christ! Is that fridge indicative of the conditions in the bathrooms too? Take a picture of that Shit!

Jenn Thorson said...

I feel a bit like I just read an episode of "The Office." :)

Tell me, it was Dwight Schrute's panini, right? It was. I know it was.

Diana said...

Ugh, that fridge is gross! If I worked near that thing I'd be dry heaving all day just thinking about what was growing in there.

Anonymous said...

Beaver fans storm turf, oust trojans.

Anonymous said...

Role Reversal: Beaver deal shocker to Trojans.

Captain Mary said...

You are the place I visit when I need a good belly roll. I love you and your sense of humor. I wish I had your talent. Keeping smiles the right side up.

Jesse Frederick said...

Vile and disgusting!!! That fridge is nasty - I think you do have a chance for disability. There must be some toxic buildup in your lungs.

Anonymous said...

It's amazing isn't? As an Office Manager it has always been my job to do toxic clean-up - glad that particular one was YOURS...

Shieldmaiden96 said...

We had one here in the ambulance building where I sit, and I am happy to say, I came in and its simply gone; nothing left but a space under the cabinet and a square of dusty carpet. There were Chinese leftovers in there that were at least a year old.

Alex L said...

Sounds like people have forgotten theres even a fridge there. I'd definitely avoid putting anything you're going to eat inside it.

Janna said...

Are you sure that was your fridge, and not mine?
'Cuz I hate to admit it, but some of that sounds frighteningly familiar.

Let's just say this: I've lived here about ten years, and some of the stuff in my fridge has lived here about that long too.


Perhaps I've said too much.

Kirsten said...

Those meatballs are mine. Could you save those for me??
Also, being a Trojan myself, it's official, I hate beaver!!!

The Hypocritical One said...

Don--In the spirit of full disclosure...this is not the fridge. This picture is much funnier though...or gross.

Jenn--Or Kevins...I love Kevin.

diana--welcome to my job.

Anon--those are great!

Mary--Thanks...your compliments are greatly appreciated.

jesse--either disability or a 3 hour lunch...I'd take either.

matron--I should have called my boss to do it....rats!

shield--I use to love chinese leftovers until I ate some that were 3 weeks old in my in-laws fridge. I can't imagine a year old.

alex--It's the only way I can "live on the wild side" here at work.

janna--too much...please say there's not half-eaten yogurt in yours.

Kirsten--I have no idea how the Trojans could lose...their 3rd string could be in the top 25.

Fergdawg said...

Having lived at your in-laws for several years past when a self respecting young adult would have moved out I will say this about the left over chinese... Was it in the outside fridge? If so I totally could have eaten that before it went bad!

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