Wednesday, September 24, 2008

News you really need to peruse II

Welcome to the second installment of weird news from Idaho. This is the news that wouldn't make the back cover of the "Life" section of a major newspaper.
If you missed the first installment, you can go check it out here.

I truly tried to get a picture of the first billboard you see when entering my town..but it was recently removed---It stated:
Voted "my towns" best steakhouse!!!
And yes...it is an advertisement for Sizzler.
I'd like to see their polling data. I don't think a 1 hour visit to the retirement home constitutes an accurate assessment. Did they ask for a show of hands? Or better yet, for the blue-hairs to not raise their hands if they wanted to vote for Sizzler??
I hear the Golden Corral wants a recount.
You'd think they'd put something that actually makes sense on the billboard..like:
Yes...those are tacos on our salad bar.
or
Sizzler--It's like Chuck-o-rama on steroids.


BLM and sportsmen to plant sagebrush in Idaho
They are planting 200 sagebrush seedlings in an effort to improve habitat for upland game birds. Huh?? Did Ted Bundy take his victims out to Ruth' Chris before killing them?? At least the game birds will be "living the good life" before a spray of lead shot obliterates their meager existence.
No word on why they just don't leave piles of bird food out and hide behind the bushes before unloading with their 20 gauge. Oh yeah...that's illegal, and probably unfair...as opposed to having decoys, bird calls, professionally trained hunting dogs, and 800 dollars of camo screens.

North Idaho woman claims hog-calling title
The article did not state what she actually called them. Rumors from the porcine underground, are that she used sensitively charged descriptions such as porker, slob, copper, and shoat-face. The NAACP (national association for advancement of captured pigs) has not issued a statement.

Idaho's out-of-state prison population grows
As more and more meth-heads and sheep-defilers are captured in Idaho, our prison's are becoming over-crowded. This has led to 10% of Idaho prisoners being held out of state.
The Director of Corrections says that moving prisoners out of state results in higher costs for Idaho, and causes an inconvenience for the families of inmates.
Translation:
Until gas prices come down, it's not worth it for the spouses to drive that far for "joint visitation" in the shag trailer.


Poison stops in Boise, gives $25 tip to server
Bret Michaels and crew stopped at the local Cracker Barrel for some waffles and something covered in gravy.
A member of the band gave the server a "Poison sticker" and stated that this was half her tip. On her bi-hourly smoke break, she realized that it would garner 5 dollars on eBay. This prompted her to drop Menthol ashes in their "sunrise samplers."
Later they left 25 dollars more.
It's a good thing they are "rock stars." If they truly think that the sticker is half the tip, math teacher probably wasn't in the cards for them.
The band was on their way to headline at the Eastern Idaho State Fair in Blackfoot. Big time indeed.
Reportedly, they opened their show with a new song entitled "My thing fell off," which is about Brett's sexual escapades in 2 seasons of "Rock of Love."

9 comments:

Athena said...

The headlines seem vaguely familiar in a way..you must not be too far from where my mother lives, in Washington!

Also, I'm surprised it took a second episode of Rock of Love before Brett Michael's "thing" fell off!

Gary ("Old Dude") said...

sounds like my kind of place, what's the going rent on a two bedroom with bath log cabin going for these days (that would be unfurnished of course).

Doug at Taunt Vortex said...

Real rock stars tip servers with jewelry, cars, or their body weight in cocaine.

But to tip $ 25 ? Heck, sometimes I tip that much. Of course, not at the Cracker Barrel.

Pretty lame on Poison's part, if you ask me.

muskrat said...

Hey, I like Bret! He came and visited us in Iraq last fall...it was actually a good show; he did some covers and several Poison hits.

And believe me, there are several hits. Anyone who says otherwise needs a kick in the nads.

Rickey Henderson said...

Having seen the infamous tape, Rickey knows that Bret can do no wrong!

Jenn Thorson said...

Heh- have you considered working for the Idaho Board of Tourism? :)

PlainOleMike said...

Actually, I think Ted Bundy wined 'em and dined 'em at the Chuck E Cheese.

Taco Bell was just voted best Mexican restaurant in my town. There isn't a Taco Bell in town. Does that make my town twice as stupid?

Heinous said...

I'm booking the next plane out. Idaho sound like way more than just taters.

The Hypocritical One said...

athena--1st season was the "incubatory" stage...2nd season was the "rotten to the core" stage.

Gary--oddly enough, that's the most expensive real estate. Just ask Bruce Willis, Tom Hanks, and Arnold.

Doug--Yes...a 25 dollar tip for gravy-covered-corn is a bit much. At least they bought a couple gallons of sweet tea when they left.

Muskrat--Of all the 80's hair bands, Poison is probably the best. And just between you and me...I watched most of the episodes of Rock of Love s2.

Rickey--It's in my netflix queue..:)

Jenn--Do they have Dental??

Mike--Taco bell is spoken in whispers similar to the holy trinity in my circle. 49 cent tacos got me through college. (showing my age)

heinous--hey--we've got Larry Craig!!

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