So...I've read that the cost to the average taxpayer for this "government bailout" would be about $7500 bucks. That's it??!!! If it will bring back my 401K from 25% down this year, then I'll write the check right now.
Since it didn't pass in Congress, I've been thinking of other things I can do with that $7500 until I get laid off in a bad economy:
My company gave me an enormous stack of business cards. If they knew that the sole purpose of these is to attempt to win free lunches at local restaurants...will they give me more when these are gone?
Why do people give me "odd" looks when they see my St. Ives lotion on my desk?? I have very dry hands, and enjoy the soothing hypo-allergenic formula for sensitive skin.
The amount of time before your sunglasses or broken or lost is inversely proportional to the amount you paid for them.
E! television has one of the funniest shows around. I know...it's the most ridiculous channel ever---but if you haven't seen The Soup, you're missing out. It is fantastic comedy.
If there are no "seat covers" in the restroom, you really only have 3 choices:
--Go home for a potty break.
--Devise a system of 13 ounces of toilet paper covering every solid surface.
--Sit directly onto the back of your foot, so that your heel is pushed into your crack. A friend told me that he did this before karate matches if the urge to go "number 2" happened. No wonder they wanted to "sweep the leg" against Daniel-san.
I hear the Mets and Yankees have been invited to the NIT tournament.
I've come up with a new weight loss method. Every time I sit on the toilet, I note the red line where my fat gut rests on my legs. If I'm doing things right, the line should be slowly making a northward march towards my crotch.
My next post will be my 100th...I'll try to give a few details about my life and personal quirks.