Reason #53 why you shouldn't shop at the Wal-marts

Recently, I was walking through the myriad of aisles at Wal-mart searching for some sort of protein bar. I have no idea where anything is in this store. When I need something, I just start on the first aisle, and work my way to the back. If I don't seem to find what I'm looking for, I just leave the store.
83% of the time that I ask for directions to an item, they send me around the store 3 times until I eventually find out that they don't carry it. I'm sure it's a game that the 9 store employees play with unsuspecting customers such as myself....or else they have no clue themselves. It's a toss-up.

As I made my way down the 6th or 7th aisle, I passed a family looking at the pickles. I won't describe them as this would be judgemental and potentially racist. I do know that they spoke English, because I overheard the following.

Legal immigrant Dad: I don't want the sweet ones.
Legal immigrant Mom: How am I supposed to know which is which?
LID: Check it.
LIM: Huh?
LID: Check it.
LIM: OK.
Mom grabs the bottle and starts twisting the lid.

I immediately stopped in my tracks as I could sense something big was happening here. I go for my cell phone, but didn't have enough cover to take a picture. They sensed my presence, and turned away from me....but not before I see the Mom "sniff" the open pickle jar.

And then, she puts the lid back on.... and places it back on the shelf.

As I rounded the corner and walked through the plethora of Campbell's soup and chili, I absorbed the experience that just occurred. As I re-played it in my mind like a movie, I realized that I was going to miss the best part--the ending.

I turned back into the pickle aisle and found it very crowded, but the nasal tester family was still there. Amazingly enough, they were still looking at pickles. Obviously I stand out in Wal-mart (I consider this a good thing), for when they saw me, they quickly walked out of the aisle...with no pickle jar in tow.

I stood there and faced a decision...seek out the "tainted" pickle jar and throw it away...or walk away.

Luckily, Wal-mart made the decision for me. The aisle quickly became filled with "lookie-lou's" who had no regard for human decency or life as they navigated their carts like ocean-liners through a canal. I still held hope that I could reach the nostrily-offended bottle. I tried to maneuver through the wasteland of handicap carts, and women wearing sweat-pants with front butts, but got nothing but evil stares, and sighs that I was trying to go "against the flow." So I walked away.

Do they even sell sweet pickles anymore?
Perhaps they were looking for a bottle that said "not-really-sweet," or "semi-sweet" rather than "dill?"

Either way, I'm always sure to check the "fresh-pop" lids on my baby-dills now....although a nose-hair wouldn't be the most disgusting thing I've ever seen at Wal-mart. But that's reason #79 why you shouldn't shop at the Wal-marts.