Friday, August 15, 2008

Pork of the morning to ya!!

This may the best or worst thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

The Wake'n bacon is brought to you by Matty Sallin, and may be the next generation in our morning wake-up ritual. (methinks he should spend a little more time on his web-site rather than converting easy-bake ovens into pork-warmers)

You can read the details on his site, but the gist, is that you are greeted bright and early by the smell of cooking bacon. Screw that first cup of got pork on the menu.

It's been well documented that all men love bacon. Now, waking up has never been so exciting.

Don't be disturbed the "nuclear-bomb" clock on the front of the clock, nor the fact that the clock looks like something you created in 7th grade wood shop. All that matters is that you have fresh bacon every morning---but wait---don't you have to lay a piece of raw bacon in the clock every night? Suddenly this clock turned into a trichinosis factory.

Is this thing roach-proof? Is anything roach proof? I love the smell of roasted pork and roach in the morning. I believe roaches are lower in fat.

This could open up an entire new group of bedroom cooking accessories.

I'm hoping to see the "iron waffle maker" sometime in the near future.

I hear that hair dryer popcorn maker will be the next big thing.
And last but not least, is the shower crab steamer.

Hey Matty...those ideas are on the house. Although this post my qualify as "prior art."

Oh, gotta go...I'm warming some pizza in my alarm clock. Now if I just figure out how to fix it so it doesn't blink 12:00 all the time.


Don said...

No way in hell am I sharing my bacon with a roach! Even a cooked roach.

Anonymous said...

The crunch of the roach would be a nice contrast for the bacon.

There's always an upside to bacon.


Kathleen said...

haha that's hilarious...

Dan da Man said...

Don you mean there is no way i am sharing my roach with bacon right?

damon said...

I thought I smelled bacon over here.
Roach infestation or a little intestinal poisoning is worth the risk. Come on, it's bacon!

(Oddly enough, the crab in the shower seems like a pretty good idea.)

Da Old Man said...

You are definately the idea guy. By the way, I noticed you included a woman in your post. Is this part of your process of increasing ypur feminine awareness?

The Hypocritical One said...

Don---Oh...they're'll never know.

Sinister--I agree...crispy bacon is alway best---and you never know if you'll get the "pop" of grease or of roach guts. What a joyful surprise.

Kathleen--thanks. Most of my hilarious stuff is stolen from other sites.

Damon--Crab in the shower is a good idea...Getting crabs in the shower is not.

Old Man--I am collecting a blogroll of only women...perhaps you will all be replaced.

Chat Blanc said...

Nooooooo! NO crabs of any kind in the shower. it's just not right. Aren't you men worried they'd pinch something?

BillyWarhol said...

mmmmmmmmmm BACON mmmmmmmmmmmm


;)) Peace*

Da Old Man said...

Replacing me with a woman? Are you my ex-wife?

Alex L said...

There'd be something disconcerting waking up to the smell of bacon in the morning in your bedroom, I'd reckon, well for me anyway.

The Hypocritical One said...

chat--The manufacturers would probably have to put a "watch for falling crabs" sign on the tub.

Billy--that's generally the response most men give.

Old Man--hahaha

Alex--I agree---unless you lived in a studio apmt.

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