Monday, August 18, 2008

A funny thing happened on the way to the Olympics...

In my ongoing quest to overcome my sexist views, I thought there was no better time to watch woman's sports in action than the Olympics.
I picked a fan favorite to get my feet wet--women's gymnastics. Not only did I find myself enjoying it...but I was captivated---more on this later.

As I watched each team perform their different routines, I was deeply alarmed by one group of girls--the Chinese team. Now, I'm sure you've noticed that most of them look no older than a normal 5th grader. In addition, they paint their eyes up with this hooker blue eye shadow, and stuff them into size 6 (children's) leotards.

I would be watching a routine by some random gymnast, and then BAM---they'd show one of these creepy Chinese girls for a split-second. A few minutes would go by, and then again--BAM--a split-second shot of them. I had this foreboding feeling that something terrible was going to happen...and then it all made sense. These random clips of the Chinese gymnasts was akin to seeing the Grady girls in "The Shining."


First Danny Torrance gets lost on his trike in the Hotel



Then BAM--Kubrick flashes the Grady girls for a split-second



And then you get the rushing blood---which I still don't understand.


After making it through the entire gymnastics routine unscathed, and not having to see Scatman Crothers take an axe to the chest, I found myself riveted by every Olympic competition.

From handball to synchronized diving. From weightlifting to hockey. (the summer kind)
I cannot stop watching. I don't know what it is...but I'm convinced that if you took a piece of turd, slapped an American flag on the front, and put it in a burning paper bag on a random Chinese doorstep--I'd be pulling for the poop.
The good thing, is that there is only another week that I need to stay up till 2 AM watching highlights of badminton. My only regret is that there isn't "Ultimate Frisbee" in the Olympics. Perhaps they'll add blogging to the Olympics....if so--this post would be disqualified for bad humor.

Gotta go...I think they may have a 16-man rowing race soon.

12 comments:

Meg said...

At least watching the games interspersed with those China Chicks won't put you into a seizure like those Japanese anime movies.

Chat Blanc said...

omg, I accidentally tuned in the other night (the late, late, late night showing) during badminton. I couldn't take it. you're a better person than I.

Harris said...

hey hypocritical one,

you'd be "pulling for the poop?"

to do what?

Rock On,

Aitch

Don said...

Yeah. It's pretty cool stuff. Well, maybe not pretty. It certainly can be addictive too as you note.

damon said...

Those little Chinese girls freak me out too.
They keep flashing the camera on them for accountability. Sooner or later, one of them is gonna climb into a duffle bag with an American flag on it to escape.

Dan da Man said...

I still can’t believe China got the Olympics they are a disgrace

Da Old Man said...

I've pretty much avoided the Olympics. Sweaty men in tights make me reach for the remote so fast that I spill my beer. Outside of women's volleyball, they are all sports with no redeeming value.

The Hypocritical One said...

Meg--I have a co-worker who watches anime. He's an odd duck. This may help explain it.

chat--Well...I was flipping between that and Wolfgang Puck's Panini maker on QVC.

Harris--I didn't really think that one out...and know....I can't...think of anything funny. I just figured if I used the word Poop, I may get more google keyword hits.

Don--Also pretty awkward when you see grown men in tears for falling on the pommel horse.

Damon--ok...that's really funny...and also true.

Dan--They "Wu-ed" the IOC. Get it...get it?? Ok..I'm done.

Old Man--you obviously haven't reached the "point of no return" in watching. I have so much vested now, that I can't turn back.

Diesel said...

Man, those girls are creepy.

Alex L said...

I actually watched some of the womens field hockey last night... not for the sport of course, dont be stupid. Horrible sport, but the Australian team are quite good.

The Acorn King said...

This post is filled with awesomeness.

The Hypocritical One said...

And big surprise that a new investigation has been opened to verify the age of the creepy on the left.

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