Thursday, August 28, 2008

Dirty talk

Growing up, curse words were generally frowned upon in my house. While I consider this a good thing, it meant that I didn't fully understand the meaning of different phrases that were tossed around the schoolyard.

In 3rd grade I heard the phrase "that sucks." This one stuck with me, and from that point on, "sucks" was part of my regular vocabulary.
"You suck."
"That sucks."
"How sucky."
I found there were many uses for the word.

What I didn't realize was that my Mom didn't like me using the word. I didn't quite grasp how much she disliked it until she sat me down one day:

Mom: Do you know what "suck" means?
Me: No.
Mom: Then why do you say it?
Me: I don't know.
Mom: Well, guess what it means?
Me: ...
Mom: It means to suck a man's penis.

You know what....??? I suppose her tactic worked, as I never felt the same when using that word.


In other news:::

My beloved Utes travel to Ann Arbor this weekend to give the Wolverines of Michigan a run for their money in front of 107,000 fans. I had hoped this game would fly under the radar for the press and the Michigan team, but alas, I think this one has built up some steam.
Michigan sits at a 3 point favorite, which shows that on a neutral field, Vegas would put the Utes up just a bit on the Wolverines.
Let's pray that they win as I just invested 60 bucks a month on Direct TV, and if we lose the first game, I'll be cursing the 2 year contract I signed for another 729 days.



And lastly:::

I have proven that a pale fat man can still water-ski...although not as well as I did 10 years ago.

16 comments:

Don said...

I think of someone else "sucking" a penis myself...that gives me an excuse to continue to use the wword. Good luck to the Ute's against the wolverines!

Gary ("Old Dude") said...

I had to give up my water skiing, when I slightly misjudge the speed I was traveling at and hit the dock with both skies, ----fortunately other than total imbarrassment at my goof, 79 bucks to pay for the rental skies----I was fine-----but no longer had any interet in water skiing, the sport sucks.

The Nemesing One said...

Wow - check out that hairy belly poking out from under that life jacket. This is my new wallpaper for my PC at work. Very nice!

Kirsten said...

Gross!! You heard your mom use the word penis!!

Athena said...

Well that definitely qualifies for a traumatic childhood experience.

Da Old Man said...

Thank your mom for ruining a perfectly good curse word for me. Now I have to take it out of the rotation.

Fo schizzle is still ok, isn't it?

Dan da Man said...

Good thing you werent gay or else you wouldve been using that more

muskrat said...

great pic of the slaloming hypocritical one!

Rickey Henderson said...

hold the phone, was Rickey's lewd comment from yesterday censored?!

shenanigans shenanigans shenanigans!

The Hypocritical One said...

Don--Go Utes!!

Gary--I used to barefoot---until I tore my ACL--and I am finished with that.

TNO--Please don't do anything disgusting while looking at my picture.

Kirsten--I always used the proper term of wee-wee.

athena--I had many such experiences.

dan--you're a fairly sick person.

Muskrat--I'm surprised I can still get up.

Rickey--While I personally thought the comment was very funny, I try to kick it family style here. No offense---you're still one of my favorite writers. (see to the left for your link)

Jeff said...

I've always preferred to associate it with "sucks rocks." Although now that I read that...

Chat Blanc said...

so by your mom's logic, it's still okay for ME to use the word! haha!!

oh wait, does that make me a slut or something?

Dan da Man said...

fairly sick i am extremely sick

Stephanie M said...

I'm a Ute!! class of 92. Don't repeat that though...

Can I ask what reservoir that picture was taken at?

I try to make sure I get up on one ski at least once a summer so I don't lose my youth. Its the best indicator of age, you know!

The Hypocritical One said...

jeff--I suppose you could mean sucks rock stars??

chat--I didn't say it.

dan--The restraining order is soon to come.

Stephanie--Go Utes!! We drove down from Idaho to Flaming Gorge for a long weekend. There was nobody on the Lake. My youth was spent on Willard Bay and Pineview reservoir slaloming 3x a week. I wish I were as good as I used to be.

Brenda said...

I think your Mom was a pretty smart cookie to calmly, questioningly, ruin the joy for you in that particular profanity. I was once trying on a different, yet rhyming, word for size. My mother's reaction wasn't nearly as civil (or effective)!

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