Monday, August 25, 2008

The Daily Buzz

It always bugs me when I go to get a hair-cut, and end up with the fat lady.
The only length I know for the hair on the top of my head is "finger length."
When sausage fingers cuts the hair, it requires that I come back and get it cut again in 3 weeks as opposed to 5 weeks when the skinny girl with purple hair does the job. I think it's a "Great clips" fat finger conspiracy. has tons of funny writers. And it also has me. I'm kind of on the JV team compared to some of them. Either way, they let me put my crap up over there, so be sure to go today and check out my new post. CLICK HERE FOR WHAT I CONSIDER FUNNY, BUT MOST PEOPLE DON'T.
Now that the Olympics are over, I think it's time to come up with some new events.
How about "electric fence" pole vaulting?

I also think that rhythmic gymnastics should be integrated with competitive eating.

I'd like: Let the Chinese athlete's families live when they don't win a medal.

Most people would like "Women's beach volleyball in the rain with skimpy white bikinis."--Oh crap..they already did that one. Schawing--gold medal salute.

I think "dirty text messaging" would be a bang. No abbreviations allowed. .3 point deduction.

And lastly, I think they should have a quad-decathlon where 40 events are performed from all walks of the Olympics. 3-meter platform one day, then ping-pong the next...awesome. I'm starting my training right now. Do they have a "channel changing" event?

Driving through my town this weekend, I saw a "yard sale" sign that said 50% off everything. Ummm....obviously these people have no clue what a yard sale entails. Everybody that goes to a yard sale wants 50% off the top...and will start the "bidding" much lower than that. I hate them..(as you can read about here)
Maybe they had some margin they had to make on the sale, and "corporate" OK'd the 50% off sale. Duh...

I've heard rumors that Mccain is close to picking a VP on the heels of the Obama/whatever his name is announcement.
His rumored decision is the perfect choice.
McCain/Federline---2008---Ya'll ain't ready!!

It makes perfect sense on so many levels.
First it gives Mccain the "youthful" image he's been looking for.
It puts someone on the Rep. ticket that screams "welfare."
KFed is a proven family man. (In a court of law no less)
They can start printing the Mc-Fed 2008 banners right away.
And they obviously need someone to take away votes from the Hilton camp.

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die


Gary ("Old Dude") said...

II like your warped sense of humor---not sure about the MC-FED ticket, makes a lot of scary sense--?? Not sure thats good politics.

Chat Blanc said...

Mc-Fed, that's precious.

Don said...

It ain't that McCain thinks Federline has "gravitas." It's that McCain wants Britney's phone #.

Da Old Man said...

I like the idea of combining events.
I always thought bikini women's beach volley ball, then swimming and wrestling would go together perfectly.

The triathalon of women's sports.

Dan da Man said...

Bikini women's mud wrestling
would be the most popular

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