Thursday, June 19, 2008

Who needs a first life...get a second one.

For those that think reality is a bore, that human contact is abhorrent, and that looking at cartoon genitalia is preferable, you probably already know what I am talking about.
Second Life is an online simulation of real life. For those of you who "play" it already, skip down a couple paragraphs. For the uninformed people with jobs, I will explain a little further. This "world" is virtual. You create a character and go "interact" with others in this virtual world. What is the point of the "game?" Well....to live....in a....second life...I think....
Almost 2 years ago, a friend mentioned this "game" and told me to try it. So I logged on and downloaded their simulator, and began the process of creating a character. You can do just about anything with your character. No need for Enzyte in this world. Just a few clicks of the mouse...and I'm Brad Pitt. Interestingly enough, most people don't represent their real looks with their characters....because I noticed only ~5% fat people in the game, whereas in the US, it's more like 40%.
Then you get to enter the "world" and "interact" with others and the things that are located in it. At first, I thought it was a neat concept...especially because you could fly. But, you quickly realize that this "game" is being inhabited by the same thing that is all over the regular Internet---Porn and gambling to make money. So, for some, they can do the same thing in both their 1st and 2nd lives.
Another "interesting" thing about the "game" is that for every person you see or meet in the "game," it is an actual person. In fact, wikipedia says that at any given moment, 38,000 people are logged onto second life. I'm sure World of Warcraft has reported decreasing numbers because of this.
Well....after an hour or two of doing nothing, I realized that this was about the stupidest thing I'd ever tried. (besides trying to shoot bottle rockets out of my mouth) There is no point to this second life. No killing, no points to accumulate, no saving the princess.
Now fans of the game may point to this being the best part. I mean you can buy some "land" (for a fee), build a "house" (for a fee), and create a "business" (for a fee) which people will pay you in fake money which you can translate to real dollars. I would imagine that by trying to earn these fake dollars, you would be practicing the law of diminishing returns (i.e. Chuck E Cheese earnings principle).
Some of you may love this "game." If you have any of the following interests, I would suggest checking out this Second Life.
Animated Cyber-porn with blocky-looking people.
Chatting with 48 year old men who live in their Mom's basement.
Seeing a return on a cyber-business of about $1.65 a week while working 80 hours on it.
Looking at a world which takes roughly 30 seconds to load, and then may not even load properly. Your beautiful "house" you just built may be missing a wall at times. Who knows. You should call your "contractor."
Doctor Who.

Who knows...perhaps you'll meet the perfect "person" and get married in Second Life. You can buy a half acre, get a big screen TV, and fly around watching the sunset together. I wonder if the Supreme court would rule this as polygamy if you already had a "First Life Wife", and a "Second Life Wife." Either way, you'll be taking out the trash.

13 comments:

The Nemesing One said...

You can watch porn in your second life? Hmmmm...interesting. I gotta go!

Anonymous said...

If shooting a bottle rocket out of your mouth makes you stupid..then I must be an idiot.

The Hypocritical One said...

You'd think that one would realize in what way the bottle rocket is propelled, and the direction of the spark propellant. It burned.

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The Nemesing One said...

WTF was that? You're getting spam in your comments now? I'd be pissed.

The Hypocritical One said...

I would be ok with getting spam...but knowing that they are 1 of the 8 people that came to my site is slightly depressing.

The Nemesing One said...

I read from home also, so 2 of those 8 are me. Sorry. That's so sad.

Arpeggio Andy said...

I checked out that second life and was equally unimpressed with the game play. I thought maybe it was me, so I got an expert (my 12 year old neice) to check it out and see what I was doing wrong. She said it isn't me, it really is a stupid game. I am currently looking for a way to kill other characters because my second life ambition is to become a serial killer.

The Hypocritical One said...

A second life serial killer...hmmm...I might need to re-visit the game.

Oscar said...

Interesting post, never heard of that game before! Looks interesting, but for me it would be too boring. But nice blog you have here. Keep up the good work!

The Hypocritical One said...

Well Oscar...I wouldn't call it a game per-say. Thanks for the comments.

In fact, I found this link to the ultimate second life parody site...awesome.

http://www.getafirstlife.com/

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