Monday, June 23, 2008

Real life wins again....

Random thoughts from the weekend while we were moving....although I have deleted funny portions due to collateral damage.

My brother, co-worker and I moved 16,000 pounds of "stuff"......twice.
Once to load, and once to unload.
Interestingly enough, 1/3 of our group moved only about 1/6 of the share. (more on this shortly)

Over 200 ounces of liquid while moving all day in 90 degree heat will only cause you to urinate twice in one 24 hour period.

The following conversation is completely true: Now, we probably didn't have enough people moving my stuff. But I decided to move, and it is my problem to worry about---not my neighbors. BUT--as we were dropping off a load at the new house, the next door neighbor stopped by. This is a completely strapping, able bodied guy. We'll call him Stu.

Me and my brother are the moving group.
Stu: How's it going over here?
Moving group: Good.
Stu: It's hot out should make sure to drink plenty of water.
Moving group: Thanks. We're trying.
Stu: Are you almost done?
MG: No...probably another load.
Stu: ...
MG: (swallowing pride) Did you want to help grab a few things?
Stu: No...I just stopped by to make sure that nobody is getting hurt.
MG: ...
Stu: I'm actually going to go take a nap.
MG: ...
Stu: See you guys later.
MG: ...

I'm trying to formulate an equivalent scenario, and this is about as good as I can think of: If I decide to wander in my neighbors yard, and notice that he is choking on a piece of steak, I'll look into his blue face, and tell him that in the future he should cut his meat into smaller bites, and to chew it better. Then I'll go take a nap.

My brother and I went and saw "Iron Man" in the late show after the move. As we entered, there were only a handful of people there. But up in the corner were 2 hungry teens trying to re-enact a scene from "Alien" by injecting each other with 3 foot tongues. He was definitely trying to test the limits of the "501 protection plan." We sat on the opposite end of the theater.


The Nemesing One said...

Made me Laugh Out Loud. Not LOL which now means "I think this was funny, but didn't actually laugh, let alone out loud", but actually Laughing, enourmous belly jiggling, tears dripping from my eyes, and 40 seconds of recovery where you go "ahh" "ummm" "ahh" as your motor dies down.

MeatWad said...

Funny as hell and so true. Could you imagine the sweat factory if I was there too? Hagrid and I could have had a sumo match. Sweaty little hogs rustling around in your belongings.

Dan da Man said...

This is one of the best blogs i have read i am so adding you to my blog list

Captain Mary said...

hilarious, I needed that, thanks

Major Undeclared said...

Reading that blog was almost as fun as playing world of warcraft for countless hours in my dark basement. Stu is on the hit list.

The Hypocritical One said...

Are you a Paladin?? I'm a Shaman.

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