Sunday, June 1, 2008

Kimbo

I don't watch mixed martial arts fights...that is until last night. I've actually only heard of 1 MMA fighter in my life. (Kurt Angle--whom was involved in the WWF...yes...I have watched the WWF, and even went to a live show--I can't believe I'm admitting that) I have no real interest in MMA. The "best" fighters in the sport are generally the ones who end up on the ground wrestling and cause their opponents to "tap out" because of some submission move that was named after a level in Dante's inferno. I don't like wrestling...it's boring. And beyond that, it's really boring. I remember in junior high school, the wrestling coach invited me to practice to check it out. (OK---I was a smallish-type pre-teen. Why is it that the skinny dweeb kids always end up in wrestling?--Anyway) Well, after seeing each wrestler lick each other's armpits attempting the "southern cross" submission move, I quickly turned my attention to other sports. (Like ping-pong at which I am adept)
Well this week, the sports-talk radio hosts were talking about this Internet-famous street brawler named Kimbo Slice who has started dabbling into MMA, and actually won a few bouts. As you can see, the man is a behemoth. You can read more about him on wikipedia if you're interested. What would cause me to watch the CBS-televised event you may ask? Well---duh--he looks just like Clubber Lang....and anything that has to do with Rocky will catch my attention.
I flipped back and forth between other shows waiting for the main event...chick fighting, light-weights fighting....I was hoping for midget MMA. That would be something interesting. Finally the fighters took the ring. Now...I'm not going to exaggerate here...but Kimbo's opponent from England had the nastiest cauliflower ear I've ever been privileged to behold. (Reason #27 not to wrestle)
Anyhow...I won't bore you with the details, but Kimbo ended up landing a hay maker into James Thompson's bloated cauliflower ear, and burst it. It goes down as one of the most vile disgusting things you've ever seen. Let me repeat this---he popped his bloated ear full of pussy goo-crud.
Kimbo ended up winning the fight, and since then the MMA "purists" have poo-pooed his victory, calling him an amateur who would get beaten soundly by a "professional." Someone needs to inform these people, that if they have a fighting personality who spans more than their normal audience of Albuquerque meth-heads, Butt-rock pot-heads, and former high school football players who now take steroids, then they need to PROMOTE the crap out of it. Let's see....a psycho, powerful fighter who tries to knock people out with one punch...hmm...sound familiar. (read a previous post with a boxing tag to find out who this is)
And the cauliflower ear was so disgusting, that I you-tubed it here for your viewing pleasure.

3 comments:

The Nemesing One said...

This is the most vile, heinous, disgusting movie, that I've ever watched twice.

Major Undeclared said...

Oddly enough I actually watched that on Saturday. Yeah, me watching sports? I dunno. But after seeing that ear I had to turn off the tv and pray for forgiveness for watching such brutality.

Harris said...

hey major undeclared,

pray for forgiveness? you should be thanking God that He lets us watch such brutality.

rock on,

aitch

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